what’s on my mind. rather who should be on my mind

For the first time in months the temperature outside my window is cooler than the temperature in my room. Before logging on the internet, I went to close my window and turn on the air-con, until I realized that there was a cool breeze blowing inside. As I write this, I can still hear the rain falling – softly now instead of the downpour that came soon after I arrived home from a long day. Along with the downpour earlier came some wind – both things combined have brought some much needed and wanted relief from the hot weather. I’m debating not even turning on my air-con, something I haven’t even had to consider since December I think.

I always have such high hopes for my blog posts. I’m inspired to write while I’m everywhere except in front of my computer screen.

One thing that I had thought about writing tonight came to mind while I was in line waiting to go to the toilet today. Somebody went in and I heard the loud sound of liquid falling. For months after arriving in Thailand I heard this loud liquid falling noise whenever somebody would go into the bathroom and my explanation for this loud sound of liquid falling was that they just really had to pee. Eventually it dawned on me – I’d been wrong all along. They weren’t just heavy pee-ers but this loud sound of liquid falling was the water running into the tank in the bathroom. Most bathrooms have a water trough/tank/plastic container that’s filled with water and have a small plastic container floating on top. This is how the squat toilets are flushed. You just scoop some water from that holding tank and pour it in the squat toilet. These considerate people were disguising their own pee noises. For some reason, most bathrooms in Thailand are open to the rest of the house. What I mean by this is that they have a door but the wall often only reaches up to just above the height of the door. Not necessarily all the way around, but in my house, there’s one wall that doesn’t reach the ceiling. So there’s not much privacy if you and your bladder/bowels need it. The bathrooms at school have a decorative cement latice type of bricks near the ceiling so again you lack privacy. Anyway, there you go… whenever or if ever you come to Thailand, feel free to run that water into the tank to give yourself a bit of privacy.

What else came to my mind today? I thought about how funny it is to me how people in Lopburi still get a kick out of the fact that a farang is riding her bike around town. At least that’s what I think they think. I get people honking, pointing, smiling, waving, laughing, yelling and so on all the time at me.

When I was biking to the bank today, my bike and I caught up to a small gang of little boys, all on their bicycles. The idea crossed my mind to just follow them; just join their little bike gang for a little while. I think the same idea crossed their minds as well. I should’ve told them my biker name. Maybe the next time I see them.

Lately I’ve been challenged to have a change of attitude and focus. Far too often these days the Holy Spirit convicts me of my attitude and focus that’s not honouring to God and I so desperately want to change. Sometimes I get frustrated with the fact that I’m single and as a result, my options for housing for my future years in Thailand are different than someone who was married. But on the other side of this is the fact that it is a blessing to have the housing situations that I face.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35
“32I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”

Often I get caught up in competing in language learning, which is actually really ridiculous to do since we’re all different and will learn at different rates. But it still creeps up and catches me off-guard, bringing along discouragement. What I would like to have more often, along with securing my undivided attention to the Lord, is to constantly have an eternal perspective. To see each moment through the eyes of the Lord. To look beyond the moment and move with an eternal perspective in all areas of my life, in every moment of everyday. To live in humility and unity with others in the Body of Christ. To be selfless and servant hearted. To be more patient and loving and giving. The ongoing pursuit to be more like Him. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” (Hebrews 12:1-3) Let me constantly fix my eyes on Jesus, for it’s only through Him that these changes may be lasting ones.

The rain’s stopped now and all I can hear is the sound of some sort of insect outside and the hum of my fan. I guess I should head to bed now. Thanks for listening.

8 thoughts on “what’s on my mind. rather who should be on my mind

  1. Jennifer says:

    Hi Beth,Just wanted to say that I enjoyed this post, thanks for sharing your stories of adjusting to life in Thailand, (disguising bathroom sounds, biking with boys, :))And thanks for sharing the difficult things as well. I think the competing in language study would be something I could easily do too. I catch myself in similar things sometimes, and it’s pretty silly.Anyway see you soon! 🙂

  2. Anonymous says:

    Hi Beth, I’m Rhianna, and I’m a teammate of the Henry’s. They sent us your blog link early in their time there so we keep up with your goings-on from time to time out of curiosity…I read your entry today and wanted to say thanks for the encouragement and the perspective. We’re preparing to come to Thailand in a month and a half, and we saw all of our belongings leave on a truck today and are moving out of our house, and I’ve been feeling pretty sorry for myself today. Thank you for the reminder to fix my eyes on Jesus, that this is not just about me, or even about my 2 1/2 year old and how she’s processing all of this. I know grieving is normal, but you’ve helped me a bit in it today. So, thanks, and I’ll be praying for you.

  3. Crystal says:

    Hey Beth,So, you’ve met Rhianna..isn’t she great?! Anyway, I wanted to let you know I also found great encouragement from your blog…I’ve been telling myself the same thing over and over again (to keep my eyes fixed on Christ.) I am often caught humming Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus while rocking Calvin…reminding myself WHY I am here and WHO called us. I love you sister…thanks for your opeenness and I too love your description of the bathroom noises! Hallelujah for the ong!love you…ps, I noticed you’re reading Blue Like Jazz…when your done, can I borrow it?!

  4. Jessica says:

    I’m so with you Beth. I can totally identify with your struggles, and even with the things that God has been revealing to you. At the end of it all, He is trustworthy and faithful. You’re beautiful lady.

  5. Beth says:

    I’m glad that you were encouraged. 🙂 Jennifer, see you soon. I’m looking forward to showing you around Chiang Mai a bit. 🙂Rhianna, will you be learning Thai here in Lopburi as well? I know it’s a hard process. I’ll keep you in my prayers as well. Thank you.Crystal, I’ve been humming that song to myself too! 🙂 Sometimes when I’m singing it, it’s like a command to myself to “turn my eyes upon Jesus…” Love you too! For sure you can borrow “Blue Like Jazz.” Hallelujah for the ong indeed!Jess…thanks. 🙂

  6. rirwin says:

    hi Beth.. I enjoy all your blogs although I usually feel too tech challanged to get a word back. I understand from your mother that we should be thinking of November to travel. I hear you have a friend from Oregon whose parents visited. Maybe I should get info from them.. love Aunt Rosi

  7. Beth says:

    Hi Aunt Rosi,It’ll be good to see you in November! I can put you in touch with my friend’s parents – I’m sure they’d be happy to give you some tips about traveling in Thailand (especially N. Thailand).Love Beth

  8. dumpling says:

    hey beth, i don’t think i’ve posted yet and so here i am. i enjoyed your description of the water falling into the ‘sink’ (i do that sometimes if it’s too quiet:P) and how you describe the first cool day in a long, long time. i remember how that feels like!!! i’ll be praying for you as you face your struggles. you have a humble and gentle spirit which i’m sure blesses other people…like the time when i was in thailand and met you…a new friend:P stay close to the Lord, for w/out Him we are nothing!!! i’m reading blue like jazz too!!! what a coincidence!!! where did you get it? it’s quite refreshing…do you like it?

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